SHHH

Some stuff is just too weird for even fiction:

Internatonal Herald Tribune
People Column
March 5, 2003

Michael Jackson wears a prosthetic nose and once paid $150,000 for a "voodoo curse" to kill director Steven Spielberg despite being deep in debt, Vanity Fair magazine reports. In an article for its March 11 edition, Vanity Fair also reports that Jackson bleaches his skin white because he does not like being black. Jackson's manager did not immediately return phone calls and a faxed request for comment on the article from Reuters. The King of Pop has been dogged by controversy for months, first over his odd appearance in a California courtroom in November and, the same month, for dangling his baby son from a hotel balcony in Berlin. In February, a British television documentary that aired in Britain and the United States caused a stir when Jackson told his interviewer that he slept in the same room, and sometimes the same bed, as young boys. Vanity Fair reported that in 2000, Jackson attended a voodoo ritual in Switzerland, where a witch doctor promised that Spielberg, the entertainment mogul, David Geffen and 23 other people on Jackson's list of enemies would die. Jackson ordered his business adviser, Myung-Ho Lee <apparently a Japanese immigrant>, to wire $150,000 to a bank in Mali for a voodoo chief named Baba, who sacrificed 42 cows, the magazine reported. The magazine also interviewed a source close to Jackson who said that he wears a page-boy wig and a prosthesis that serves as the tip of his nose. According to the magazine, Jackson's extravagant lifestyle and declining record sales have left him $240 million in debt. The article, which relies in part on court filings in a lawsuit against Jackson by Lee, said that since the mid-1990s Jackson has relied on loans to cover his expenses.

    Special InterHash Announcement:

Click on the thumbnail image to see official announcement:

Seoul Hash House Harriers (Slower Half-a-Pack of Half-a-Minds) On Trail - at Beer Check at the Seoul Pub

Co-Hare Rover with JM/GP Nightcrawler

Former GM DODIC & Son Sherpa

OnOn past Sam-il National Day Flags

Beer Check with Shoulders and Worm

Booty from Williamsburg, VA

Last Week’s Notes:

One EM, ShiTonya, appeared and so did the return of good weather for a memorable Run 1665 starting just across the pedestrian bridge to the side of the front entrance to the Grand Hyatt Hotel on the south side of Namsan. The day was 3.1 or Samil Nal - a day where the Koreans proved to the world that they actually gave a damn about being Korean (as opposed to being Japanese).

The run was a bit of a homecoming with veteran Hasher Elephant Ass in from China for a quick visit.  Co-haring the run was Shoulders, a long lost hasher who teamed up with Bendover Rover to set an usual escapade around, down and back up Namsan mountain.  Missing for some time was Nightcrawler, whose reappearance was greatly welcomed.

Also appearing were Ammo, Jolly Green Knob, LeberCon, OB1, BaliHite, Blank Space, GM Plug and Play, Worm, and DODIC Master with his son, Sherpa. 

With the GM holding the pan, last week's Wingee, OB1, was splashed.  The GM then had Co-hares described the trail.  They said it would be marked in chalk and it would take past places of sentimentality and other common sights dear to hearts and other organs.  

With those words of advice, the Co-hares aimed the Pack out into the park and they were off. 

The Trail

With Ammo and Blank Space in the lead with Jolly Green in close pursuit, some of the Pack actually ran with the rest taking a more measured speed to be able to discuss philosophy along the lines of Beer, The Universe and Everything Else Related to Beer with Elephant Ass.

The trail took us out in the direction of Ground Zero, and we were certain that we were on True Trail among the weeds and trees when we encountered our first Falsie.  It was then back tracking and back on to the asphalt trails and down on to street level where we re-discovered the True Trail - that eventually took us to Ground Zero.  

It then back towards the street where we encountered an "X"(?) and across the main drag and dropping down into a housing section.  The trail snaked around, with Rover darting about on his scooter taking photos at strategic locations.  Eventually we found ourselves trudging through a covered (and smelly) fish market and out into relatively fresh air.  It was then up a hill for a short distance before dropping down into the Itaewon shopping district from behind the post office.  

Taking a left along the sidewalk of hawkers, the trail took the pack up past a chalked star (?!) skirting by the 3 Alleys Pub and then back down towards the street.  It came to a stop light that took the pack across and on up to the Seoul Pub for a beer check.

The faster hares quickly scampered out before the second group arrived.  They worked themselves back up the mountain to the OnIn site.  The slower group concluded a good pint of beer should not be rushed and then realizing what time it was concluded that the only appropriate means to catch up with the rest of the back would be via an automotive short cut - which they did.

By the time the slower half of the pack arrived, the food was ready. This time it was an enticing, eclectic mix of antipasto and Indian food.  It tasted much better than it sounds.

The Circle

The GM had "cut a chogi" back to work from the beer check so the JM, Nightcrawler, took on the role as GP and ordered the Hash Benediction to be ably offered by EM ShiTonya.  Since the co-hares were out getting the food when the first hares arrived, Jolly Green, took it upon himself to declare that this week's Wingee was none other than <___>.

After a brief debate whether such an action was appropriate, the matter was dropped within a few swigs of beer.

The Co-hares were called up to defend themselves and got off lightly with even more insipid of comments than normal from the hounds.  However, the meaning of the mysterious chalked "X" and star became clear during this interrogation.  The "X" meant that the Pack was "probably on trail" - whatever that meant.  And the star represented the entrance to our current OnOn bar (duh!), the MMT.

There were no Paid-Up Hashers nor were there any Paid Guests.  But we had several Returning Hashers.

First up was Elephant Ass, our fifth GM who ruled during the 1970's.  He was in Korea from 1972~78, and then from 1984~86.  Being presumably over the age of 50, he was presented with a black Senior Hasher shirt.  Then up was Shoulders and then Nightcrawler who brought back booty to the Hash in the form of Williamsburg Pale Ale from his ala mater, the College of William & Mary.

    Long-lost Co-Hare Sholders with OB1

GM Plug and Play at Circle Up

Last Week's Wingee, OB1

Visiting Elephant Ass with EM ShiTonya

Near Ground Zero looking for Trail

Mechanized OnIn and OnUp Namsan

Ammo was brought up where he noted the difference between Reagan and a Selectric typewriter was that one had a colon and a memory.  He, too, was presented with a Senior Hasher shirt.

It was then LeperCon who told a joke about Ireland and wankers that was in keeping with the theme established by the earlier told jokes of the day. He then asked for permission to not be around for the next one and possibly two runs due to his role in directing the ten-day Irish Festival starting with Gaelic Athletic Day at Dongguk University on March 8th.

Rover retold a well know joke about making bets with banker's balls; BaliHite recounted a true experience of his youth watching first a Korean woman and then a foreign woman relieving themselves in the gutter in front of Myondong Cathedral.  <___> described the linguistic perils even in Heaven of differentiating between virgins and Virginians.  

Worm went into a discourse on three-year-olds, EM ShiTonya read an alleged report on France "as the State Department may have the courage to see it!"

Jolly Green educated us a bit more about lesbian frogs, then told yet another Paddy joke - followed by singing an ode to a dead whore.

Rover passed around the latest issue of the Harrier  magazine, published by Bimbo, where we found pictures of Virginia Slim, Hazukashii as well as DODIC and Rover.  He also extended greetings from You What? and encouraged the rest to join in the Royal Southside Hash's 1500th run in Hong Kong on March 22 &23.

Elephant Ass then pointed the Way Down South and after the anthem we took turns trying to stamp out a 3/4 burnt presto-log since we couldn't piss it out in a public park.

After cleaning up the site we headed off for the TMM with stopovers at Kelly's and elsewhere until our OnOn bar opened.