SHHH

  Early Warning Sign

Later Warning Sign

GM: "I wonder if I should tell Taxi that when the lyrics are printed upside down you don't have to take off your shirt..."

ut

                     Return of Fukaduk

Last Week’s Notes:

In spite of anxieties about Farty Breath’s trail directions, the instructions were in fact excellent as a dozen hashers gathered near the south bank of the mighty Han River in the eastern suburbs of Seoul.  Long-lost DODIC Master appeared and even longer lost Taxi surfaced from his stint in Central Asia.  TwinCheeks was there as was Capt Marvel and LeperCon.   EM ShiTonya brought with him unseasonably warm winter weather and the GM actually showed up on time. Jolly Green Knob as usual was there, too. Fukaduk was able to get away from work for a change and Worm came way down south to join us and his buddy Bendover Rover.

Hare Farty Breath was still out laying trail so the GM called for dispensing with the normal pre-run formalities.  Within a few minutes the OnOut was discovered and the Pack was off!

The Trail

DODIC Master led the charge scampering up hill and dale finding, losing and rediscovering True Trail.  The rest with varying degrees of physical exertion followed in his wake – most staying mostly on trail for most of the event.  True Trail took over a small rise and down past the same yapping dogs of 18 months ago and out into rice paddies fed by now ice-covered streams.  Along a gravel road we headed due south for a couple of hundred meters and then it was a hard right along a muddy trail.  That trail took us through the de rigueur rice paddies below and tomb sites above – and eventually on to a wooded ridge trail that aimed us south once again. 

DODIC, Taxi, Jolly and the GM led with EM Shitonya and TwinCheeks in close pursuit.  Marvel and LeperCon ambled behind at a more leisurely pace taking care not to soil their apparel with perspiration.  Rover and Worm took the Zen approach to Hashing by appearing, disappearing and re-appearing at weird junctures of the True Trail  Fukaduk who arrived late, followed the True Trail and actually worked up a respectable sweat to the end.

From the wooded ridge line the trail deposited the hashers on to a street and a housing district.  Following the paved boulevard west, the Hashers went over another gentle rise and down to a four-way intersection.  This was a natural check with those earnestly inclined found the trail resuming itself by heading south.  Marvel and LeperCon looked at the time and considered what may be the best route in for the shortcut cheating bastards that they are and headed north up and over the forested hill and ultimately back to the Circle from the opposite direction of the OnIn.

Those who followed the True Trail south from the intersection were rewarded with another stretch of farm land that took them up, along and down another forested hill before depositing them back in the same rice paddy plain they first encountered at the start of the run.  From there it was OnIn through the rice paddies, past the yapping dogs, over the rise and into the Circle area.

As the Hashers appeared they were welcomed by Hare Farty Breath and rewarded with buckets for Kentucky Fried Chicken.

The Circle

The GM called upon the EM to sound the tissue Hash Horn.  The EM was particularly enabled with a head cold amd so did a fine job.  We quickly stepped through the Pre-Run activities splashing the Hare and last week's Wingee, Jolly Green Knob.  The GM then asked the EM to sound the tissue Hash Horn once more to commence the normal Post-Run activities starting with the Hash Benediction suitably conducted by EM ShiTonya.  A special moment of silence followed by swigs of beer was done in recognition of the most recent passing of Zippy of the Pikes Peak Hash House Harriers, universally known as one of the great hashers of all time who among other achievement compiled the Hash Hymnal.

       Hare and Former GM Farty Breath

                             OnOut!

             Country scene over fertilizer

The Hare was brought up to entertain comments about his trail.  They included:
“A true Farty Breath trail.” and “The run was as fragrant as the hills of England.”

Farty Breath noted that the run location is near his wife’s family home where he had just come from a ceremonial occasion of children groveling for cash and complaining that the cheap bastard had “only” given them W50,000 each.  As he stood in his glamorous “Korea-Korea” running gear that served as a sort of Lunar New Year’s hanbok, Farty Breath explained that he volunteered for the run as yesterday was his n^th birthday.  He allowed the run was a bit on the short side but hoped everyone had a good time.  Rover volunteered that he had an inkling what kind of run this was going to be when he noticed among the national flags at the Helios bar in Itaewon the Union Jack hanging limpid at half mast.  Farty Breath recounted a true story of years gone by about a cheapskate Seoul Hasher, SweetThing, who having only W5,000 for a time on the Hill accidentally set fire to a girl while trying to get a better look.  For this and all other troubles, the Hare was splashed.

But before the Hare was allowed to step back, he was called upon to identify the asshole who preceded all other assholes.  To no one’s surprise, this week’s Wingee turned out to be former GM DODIC Master.

The GM then began working through the Categories.  There were no Newly Paid-up Guests which was fortunate since there was again no Hash Cash causing many to wonder, “Where the hell has OB1 been?” 

About this time EM ShiTonya volunteered results from the Research Frontier in discovering how Fukaduk got his name.  It is too complicated to go in detail here but it starts with a live pet duck, involves a hooker’s satisfaction/ dissatisfaction with said bird, and ends with the duck dead and sold for ten bucks. (If you are curious about the details, then there is yet one more reason to show up for the coming runs!)

About this time Worm and TwinCheeks leave sans permission to leave from the GM.

Returning to the Categories with the GM calling out for Newly Paid-up Hashers, Taxi stepped forward to report that “Uzbekistan rocks!” as he vaguely recalled his moments of eroticism with blondes and Indian-looking physical therapists.   He offered to pay his dues so the GM helpfully pocketed the cash.  Fukaduk stepped forward as the second newly paid-up hasher and gave an account of what it is like to work as a GM employee at Daewoo noting that the Koreans are just starting to understand that GM actually acquired Daewoo.

We then proceeded to Returning Hashers.  DODIC  step forward, started an impromptu duet with Jolly Green along the “Poetry Song,” and then presented to Farty Breath his anatomically correct hula girl dancer he had acquired at the DODIC Isle of Death some time before when he was the GM. DODIC asked for permission to leave until his return on Feb. 18^th.  He then presented the GM with an exceptional Hashing t-shirt from Thailand.  Farty Breath allowed that he, too, was a Returning Hasher from his trip to England and recalled a story about WWII, wounded service men and the cuing concerns involving a wire brush and Dettol.  Taxi pointed out that he was certainly a Returning Hasher.  He whipped off his shirt to sing the lyrics that had been purposely printed upside down to allow the wearer the option not to disrobe.  No matter he sang a good part of the song mostly on key, shivering in the cold.

About this time EM ShiTonya and Rover left since the EM was feeling a bit weak from his cold and, incidentally, now that the sun had set the place was starting to feel a bit cold – as attested by the unconscious stamping of feet around the fire.

Marvel and LeperCon had their opportunities to tell a few jokes and then the GM  reminded the pack of the upcoming Combined Family Run, Feb. 17^th ,  at Caribbean Bay (indoor) water park in Yongin.  With that, he called up DODIC Master and asked him which way he felt like going to which our former GM declared it was time to go Way Down South.  For once our pack actually was melodious for a few bars at a stretch in singing the Seoul Hash Hymn.

It was then OnOn to the newly discovered MMT (as in Magical Mystery Tour) club where the bartender was none other the lovely Ms Choi of the now defunct Mug Club.  More than one Hasher got a bit misty upon entering the room as the place actually captured the essence of Itaewon 15 years ago.  Proving once again as proclaimed by Korean beer joint outdoor signs, where there is “hopu” there is beer!