SHHH

  Frodo Has Failed!

    Tokyo Harriets Welcome You!

                                                                           "Yeah, STBN Ulrich, this is the way we always hash!"

               Hare Ammo with the GM

                             On Out

Last Week’s Notes:

So it was back to Dead Cat Tree - sans a dead cat this time.   The weather was cool, overcast but not really feeling like winter - except for those damn patches of snow on the ground (more about that later...)

Ammo had volunteered to be the Hare this time and the trail was completely set as Ammo impatiently waited for the hounds to appear - and appeared they did though not in great numbers.  With Jolly Green Knob at the wheel, he and LeperCon and virgin hasher STBN Ulrich arrived to find <____> conversing with the Hare, ready to go.  

The GM had sent along word he would be late as he was tied up with the Yongsan Hash.  So the small pack went through the formalities without a splash pan.  Things were even more expedited given that the Hare, Ammo, was last run's Wingee and he nominated himself to be the GP until the GM arrives.  So even by Ammo standards the pre-run formalities, starting with an expert blast of the Hash Horn by LeperCon, were fast with a truncated ceremony taking place.

Ammo warned of 5~6 checks each having only two possible directions with the falsies being marked in double lines, the markers were chalk and shredded secrets, and, oh yeah, there is a downward stretch on a north slope going through some rough areas without a trail for "about 100 meters" but after that you will be back on trail - or so the Hare claimed!  With that, the hounds were immediately pointed in the direction of the OnOut.

The Trail

Bounding across the highway to the east side of the thoroughfare, the hounds found a clearly marked trail that immediately took them up over a short rise to a falsie.  Backtracking, they discovered True Trail that took up over the same rise, but in a different direction, and past some of the omnipresent tombs.

As would be expected, the trail quickly took us to the tallest near-by hill and headed OnUp.  Through the branches we got peeks what would have been quite a vista had anyone had had the forethought to bring along a chainsaw.

     When trails become obstacle courses

Trail Mantra: "Short crystals - snow;
                        long crystals - secrets...."

It was then OnDown - but hey! No trail!! We found ourselves in a large area of downed pines where someone had brought a chainsaw and had done a real number on perhaps a hundred trees.  Soon our only guides were purple chalk arrows on logs, stones and trees pointing us on a route that only made sense in its generally descending course. Tripping over bows and being careful not to poke our eyes out with branches of pine needles, we made our way through "about 100 meters" of dead pine shit.  It was impossible to accurately gauge the total distance since visibility was often no more than 10 meters.  We swore that it really seemed like much more than 100 meters and, of course, we swore all sorts of oaths about what we thought of the Hare.

Finally arriving at a clearing with a deep and dried stream gully running through it, we discovered that the Hare had reverted back to shredded secrets and had artfully placed them as often as not on as well as by the snow patches.  Being a caring, sensitive male when it comes to Nature, the Hare made a point not visually pollute the countryside with clearly visible trail markings leaving us to play a constant guessing game:  "It that snow - or is that a trail marking?"  Soon navigation became a religious experience as we began chanting under breaths:

"Short crystals, snow; 
long crystals, secrets; 
short crystals, snow;
long crystals, secrets."

By this time the pack had split into couples with <____> and Jolly Green out in front with LeperCon (surprise, surprise) with STBN Ulrich tagging behind.

After an hour out, both pairs eventually came to a snow-encrusted dirt road intersection - and that's when the real confusion took place.  In the case of the slow, plodding hounds, they were considering the possible directions sans trail markings when they saw the more nimble two shortcutting across a field along the highway leading back to the Circle site.  With that all were in following the same dead reckoning. 

As the hounds made their way back to the Circle, a fire was lit with the GM and Rover in attendance along with the Hare.

Ammo had gone and come back from Lotteria with an interesting collection of hamburgers, "Big Rib" burgers, bulgogi burgers and fish burgers.

The Circle:

With a blast of the Hash Horn, the GM called the Circle to order.  Starting with the Hash Benediction sans EMs, the GM called the Hare up for comments including heated speculation as to whether the Hare was sadistic or just lost when setting the trail.  And, oh yeah, about that trail - where did it go anyway?

"It turned out," the Hare defensively pointed out, "the trail later went through some very nice farm lands and it's a pity you couldn't find it but I had a good time!"  He also congratulated himself on creating a trail that stimulated so much intellectual conjecture about himself to which LeperCon countered that the debate could only be considered to be to a limited degree intellectual when the majority of the words were four-lettered ones.

The Hare was asked to name the Wingee and with only slight hesitation the Hare declared Jolly Green Knob as the asshole who preceded all other assholes since he more than the rest had whinged about the trail.

It was then working through the Categories.  Any Newly Paid-Up Hashers?  None.  Any Paid-Up Guests?  One (had the Hash Cash had bothered to show up).  STBN Ulrich was brought up and asked who brought him out.  He correctly replied, "LeperCon."   He was then asked if he knew what was expected of him to which he launched into a bilingual song about something (in German) and Sacramento, California (in English).  Go figure...  For his efforts, he was splashed.

Moving right along, the GM called out for Returning Hashers.  To which LeperCon stepped forward from his week away at Cancun(t).  As booty he brought back from the flea market a remarkably tasteless, colorful t-shirt that graphically detailed 10 reasons why beer is better than a woman. In other words, it was a delightful garment guaranteed to offend almost everyone in content and/or design on one level or another.  The shirt was horrible enough to serve as a joke but the Irish gnome also sputtered out an Irish joke and retreated back to his place in the circle after being splashed.

     Jolly Green Knob, this week's Wingee

Bendover Rover then stepped into the circle to offer to the GM a giant can of Kiren biiru - which was a step forward since not too long ago returning Korea Hashers had drunk all their booty beer at Narita before getting on the plane to Seoul  He also brought along with greetings from Lifa and Hazukashii.  He reported that he had run with the Tokyo Hash, the Tokyo Harriets, and the Samurai Hash.  For all of this he was splashed.

Jolly Green sang one of his many Hash Hymns and was splashed as a reward.

The GM told a couple of jokes and then made an announcement that there would be Family Joint Hash Run at Yong-In Everland on February 17th. 

He then asked Rover to point us which way to go and naturally it was Way Down South.  Finishing our song, the fire was still going strong and so the only thing to do was to drink more beer to create more fire extinguishing fluids.  

When the fire was finally out, we were informed that we had been booted out from the the Mia Fiore in Itaewon since we were "scaring away business" - which was weird since we were essentially their only business.  So for now, the Gentle German Giant Gunter of 3 Alleys Pub welcomes us indefinitely at his fine if a tad too refined establishment.  While mildly disappointed that we had once more been made to feel unwelcome, we remembered what we had learned as school boys -  Omnia vincit suds ("Beer conquers all.")