SHHH

 When you're hot you're HOT!

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me

Borderline Personality Disorder ---Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells

Hare Faceplant

Last Week’s Notes:

It seemed something like this: we had a great Hon Sec, he had to leave the country due to changes in business contracts, on the way out he said his good-byes - but alas! he forgot something:  his Seoul Hash mug!  So he's been back and even setting a trail last week at his old haunts above the Swiss Grand - renamed in his brief absence as the Hilton - Hotel.  All for the sake of a silver beer mug.  Well done!

We gathered under temporarily beautiful, early winter skies - Ammo, Twin Cheeks, LeperCon, OB1, Nasty Bumbo (son of Ammo), ShiTonya, Capt. Marvel, BaliHite, Rover and, of course, Faceplant.

With no one else around to fill in, our current Hon Sec, LeperCon stepped into the vacuum as the Great Pretender (GP) on behalf of our GM, Plug and Play, who claimed that work demands came before Hashing.  Indeed!

With a now better practiced blast from the Hash Horn by Ammo, the circle was called.  About that time Rover showed up in the nick of time with Splash Pan.  Since our last run's Wingee was our dear and now departed (not R.I.P.) Rawhide, the GP looked left, center and to his right for a Wingee Stand-in. As Fate would have it, the young and perhaps naive Nasty Bumbo (son of Ammo) stood smiling in the sunlight.  Done!  The splash pan was pushed into the lad's arms and the command, "Drink!" was barked followed by our winsome little ditty.

The run's Hare, Faceplant, was called to the front to (be splashed and to) describe the run.  He said it was a run that had checks and falsies marked with double bars and there was an A/D split but also an Aa and perhaps a Dd found by carrying the three and multiplying (or was it dividing?) by pi and then deducing the square root to determine whether you had stumbled upon another option to the OnIn.  If you no longer knew how to use a slide rule, tough shit!  Also, no instruction manual supplied.  Ah!  A run set by an ENGINEER!

Aiming west and north, the Hare set the OnOut and the pack was off!

The Trail:

Out towards a point, site of previous circle fires, we followed the trail.  There we found our first check.  As various trails taking us to lower elevations were explored, True Trail happen to be basically on same elevation taking us to the right and along the ridge - for a while.  But then we hit a check and after some scrambling about, the trail took us down one trail, past a farm house over a rocky outcropping, out past a small pavilion and out on to a yet another viewpoint.  

It was as this point the pack split between the physically fit and the overweight yet cunning hounds.  The majority of the pack clambered down the slope on to a small shoulder to discover the A/D split.  The three (ahem!) senior hares agreed good elevation should not be wasted and headed back along the ridge line scheming to intersect the rest somewhere above the OnIn.

As the three hounds worked their ways back, they encountered the firewood gathering Hare.  Hoping to trick the Hare out of a few hints, they got nothing too concrete other than they might have a good notion where to go.  At this point Capt Marvel noticed that it was a bit unusual for someone to mark a tree's stub with a cross of cellophane tape.  He peeled the tape off and turned away to walk down the trail.  As he did so the entire tree fell back silently into the bush in his wake.  The other two senior hounds, ShiTonya and LeperCon looked at each other and shrugged with with looks conveying "go figure!"

MEANWHILE, the Pack was bounding down the slopes and up and around the hills.  Eventually the trail took them to a back gate of the hotel.  There were no marks to the right or the left but only OnOn!  So over the gate they clambered.  It was at this point Twin Cheeks looked at his watch and figured it was time to head back up the hill to the circle since he had better things to do than climb over gates that evening. In other words, he "cut a chogi" and was in and out of base camp before the rest.

Skipping along as well as men in their fifties can pretend to be doing, our Three Wise Asses - er, Men made their way back along the ridge line and up to the major pagoda passing at least two checks but from the opposite direction of True Trail.  

Along the trail ShiTonya and LeperCon met one old, local geezer who stared in amazement (disgust?) at the two and asked if they were from Turkey (or was it, 'are you turkeys?').  To which ShiTonya replied, "Miguk-salam." The old man wheezed, "Miguk OK, Ro Muhun nappayeo!"  Hardly empirical polling but it gave them insight how the over-70 crowd may be voting this month.

After hanging out at the ridge-top pagoda, a Hash Horn call was heard echoing in the distance.  Scurrying down the ridge for a good camera angle, ShiTonya and LeperCon came across temporarily separated Capt. Marvel.  A few minutes later our Man In Pink, Ammo, came scampering down the hill.  FLASH! One pix down, more to be taken.  Then came Rover (flash!), soon followed by OB1 (flash!).  Not much later came BaliHite (flash! flash!).  BaliHite, the least experienced of the Pack asked incredulously of ShiTonya and LeperCon, "How come you guys are here?!"  The Gray Haired Ones only smiled inscrutably at their Korean fellow hasher.  

As the pack dittle-dattled around the last check, a few more pix were taken and then the last stragglers made it back down past the OnIn notices to the camp site.

The skies had slid from a brilliant blue to gray and almost foggy as the hounds found themselves back at the Circle site.  Soon Faceplant came up the hill carrying an almost extravagant load of fried chicken. In no time the birds were consumed and the hounds by instinct began circling the fire.

This week's Wingee, Ammo

Nasty Bumpo, Son of Ammo

The Reversed Santa Outfit episode recalled

Presentation of Farewell Mug by Capt Marvel

The Circle:  

The GP called the circle and motioned the Hare up and asked for comment on the trail - forgetting the Hash Benediction!  Quickly reminded by beer dripping scowls of disgust, the GP regained his composure and asked for EM ShiTonya to recite the Benediction - which he did in his usual eloquent form.

The GP then asked for comments about the trail.  The various Pints of Order mentioned the especially endearing way of the check arrows pointed to all the falsies - particularly upon arrival at the hotel premises.  BaliHite asked, "We were confused so we ended up climbing over the hotel gate!" to which the kindly Hare replied, "You were supposed to!" Other comments included the omission in the Run Directions to include a pack list consisting of carabineers, crampons, etc.  One hound suggested the "A" trail stood for "Asshole" trail.  Or it could have stood for "Ammo" trail.  The Hare confessed he wanted to pay back to Ammo for although exquisite pleasures of the past years by giving an Ammo trail to beat all other Ammo trails.

While all of this didactic analysis was taking place, a howl went up from OB1 who "discovered" that standing too close to a fire may ignite his clothing.  

With that, the GP asked the Hare who was the asshole who preceded all other assholes, to which Faceplant replied in terms of the first one in from running a complete trail, the honor goes to Ammo (father of Nasty Bumpo).

So Ammo (father of Nasty Bumpo) was splashed after telling a joke.  The GP turned to Hash Cash OB1 to ask if there were any Recently Paid-up Hounds.  There were none, but there was a Recently Paid-up Guest as Ammo (father of Nasty Bumpo) hurriedly fished out 10,000 won out of his wallet.  With that, the GP called up Nasty Bumbo (son of Ammo)  to entertain us which he did with a joke.

The GP asked if there were any recently Returning Hounds.  Once again, there were none.  So he asked if there are any Departing Hounds to which Faceplant bounded forward asking if he could hold the Pan.  Yes, after telling a joke or singing a song, replied the GP.  "Sing a song?" replied  Faceplant  - to which someone in the pack rhetorically asked, "Does the sun set in the west?" And in no time the pack was off singing the Engineer's Song.

Faceplant with Pan firmly in paws' grasp called up ShiTonya who ceremonially burnt this year's calendar of Japanese cheesecake and a lesbian safe sex advisory postcard.  He concluded his performance with a detailed and humorous recalling of his attempt to go out one year on the Ville with a custom-ordered Santa Clause outfit only to end up with a white suit with red trim!

He was followed by OB1 and a joke.  Ammo (father of Nasty Bumpo) was called up to tell a joke who concluded with a fond comment, "We will miss you!" enjoined by "Though we haven't missed you the past four months!" by Rover.  Such Hash sentiment always bring a tear to the eye... 

Faceplant brought up Capt Marvel to give us an update on the the past week's news events followed by Aston Martin In His Youth look alike, Nasty Bumbo (son of Ammo) who luckily had one more joke up his sleeve.  Rover then was called up to tell a leprechaun joke and finally the real LeperCon was brought up to tell a literally shitty joke.

Not that he was bored or anything, but about this time OB1 kept playing with his can of charcoal lighter around the fire - apparently hoping he could flame off the remains of his charred t-shit.  He failed but witnesses were nonetheless somewhat amazed that he did not succeed.

With that, the GP brought Capt Marvel back to formally present the Silver Hash Mug.  With proper Hash decorum, Marvel read the inscription detailing Faceplant's services to the Seoul Hash and had it properly filled with beer for the departing hound to swill.

After a long and generous take of beer, Faceplant emptied his tankard and thanked the rest for a wonderful experience in Korea.  

It was then on to another Hash Carol Fest following last week's kick-off of the Yule Tide Season!  So out fluttered the cheat sheets and with even more gusto than last time blasphemy was howled by the pack to the black clouds above.

By now the temperature had really dropped and hypothermia had set in around our fire of much smoke, some light and little heat.  The GP turned to ask Faceplant one last time for a while if he felt like going anywhere about this time of the evening.  With the unerring accuracy of a True Engineer, Faceplant pointed Way Down South and soon we were OnOn to the new OnOn site, the Mia Fiore below the Three Alley Pub in Itaewon. 

The Seoul Hash signs were hung at the pub, the first beers were free, and the girls were friendly.  A promising start for a new Hash Bar!  And so the Seoul Hash runs, stumbles and plunges OnOn to finish 2002 only to bound ONward into a very near 2003.

GP LeperCon - "Now how does it go?  First the Wingee - no!  First the Benediction, then the Wingee! Jayz!"

"Plays With Fire" OB1!

Hash Christmas Carols led by Marvel and ShiTonya