Last Week’s Notes:

Thanks to returning EM ShiTonya, we were once again blessed with clear yet not too cold early winter weather as the pack stumbled out Exit 1 of Gamcheon in hopes of finding the OnOn Site.  Most of us found it - one of us took quite some time (more on that later...)

Stumbling on an occasional blue arrow, the pack temporarily assembled under a shelter near the Gwacheon library.  As the clock ticked to 4:00 PM, the pack started shedding outer garments down to running gear.  In the great Hash tradition, totally mindless that he was in the middle of a public park in mid Saturday afternoon, Ammo shed down to his underware causing EM ShiTonya to scream "Screen!!" to which a number of hounds formed a human shield to prevent yet more young girls swooning from shock (more on that later...)

In time OB1, Bones, LeperCon, BaliHite, Jock Strap and Blank Space had joined the group.  Eventually Night Crawler appeared with the all-important Splash Pan and we later discovered that Rover, also arrived about that time (more on that later...)

Our Hare Jolly Green Knob at last appeared and led us On-On to the OnOn located a few minutes hike to a parking lot.

Since the GM could not make it due to work (curse of the drinking man), Night Crawler called the circle as the GP (Great Pretender).  His first act was to call on Ammo to blow his horn. After hours of practicing at home with sheet music, he attempted once more to blow the Hash Horn.  A blast, of sorts, rolled out of the instrument and flopped down on to the pavement.  As we stared down at the splat we agreed that it would suffice as the start of the circle.

The GP was quick to correct the Hon Sec that he was not the Wingee last week but it had been Seoul Train.  Looking around for someone dressed in black as Seoul Train been, the closest we could find for a Stand-In Wingee was Jock Strap who thoughtfully appeared in black gear.  He was suitably splashed and the Hare was brought up for a splashing and a chance to tell us about the trail.  Jolly Green Knob bellowed that "Ye shall be saved!  Be ye redeemed on this trail!"  (EM ShiTonya had it noted for the record that this proclamation was coming from someone wearing a Kraft Cheese hat.)  Beyond simply saying that it was up on the near-by mountain, he volunteered to run with us over the flat stretch leading to the trail up the mountain side.  With that we were off!

The Trail:

The Hare led the pack out of the parking lot and along the side walk to the first parking lot.  ShiTonya and Jock Strap sauntered along at the back of the track (more on that later...).  With the changing of the light with Night Crawler in the lead, the pack ran up the street to another stop light and then yet further up the base of the mountain.  It was here that the Hare started giving directions to take a left, pass through a Salvation Army compound and take a proper earthen trail up the mountain side.

The pack slowed to a hike as they hit the granite faces and climbed steadily up to a rise that seem to sport a particularly well marked falsie - but it turned out to be a ROK army marking and so it was down and then immediately up to another rise.  From there it was a ridge run angling upward until the trail suddenly left the main path and took a vertical plunge down to a river bed.  It was a scramble up the opposite bank and on to a remarkably well maintained public trail that led the pack back down the mountain where Jolly Green Knob awaited them to guide them OnIn from there to the parking lot.

Now, if what happened was as simple as stated in the above paragraph, we would have a boring Trash this week but, of course, our Runs are never so well executed.

What actually happened was that our rotund little Irishman, LeperCon, was as usual taking his sweet time stopping to take photographs and to admire nature - totally unaware that the Hare was waiting at the base of the mountain to direct the incoming hounds.  In fact, figuring that he was so far behind, the Celtic gnome took some side trips to check out possible future outings with his wife.  In the meantime, the rest of sweaty hounds were assembled around Jolly Green's jeep and were unable to figure how to open the doors to retrieve their dry clothing.  As the skies darkened and the temperature dropped, the Hare's name was at least once hissed in vain.

Eventually LeperCon appeared and the Hare was about to quickly run with him back to the OnOn site when suddenly a severe pain erupted from Jolly's ankle.  So it was a hobble back to the OnOn.  Bones greeted the two with his rendition of "Arirang" on his damn recorder.  As the two appeared, Hash Flash Bendover Rover signaled with the strobe of his camera - to which LeperCon replied in same fashion.   It turned out that Rover had appeared about 4:05 - five minutes late - from Exit 1 of the subway station and wandered about for 48 minutes before finally discovering where was the OnOn.

  ShiTonya's Polish  Blow Job

With LeperCon and Jolly Green in, we realized that we had not seen ShiTonya nor Jock Strap since the first stop light at the very beginning of the run.  We quickly deduced the two hounds had found an OnIn - but the problem was guessing which bar.  (The temptations of staring a run in an urban area are too numerous to list!)  The idea was briefly considered to sending out a search party but the ratio of drinking establishments to hounds was too daunting so the pack quickly turned to their beers.

As Jolly Green unlocked the door and brought out the soup tin, a strange and very weird wail went up.  We turned to witness Bones giving out a wolf call in eager anticipation.  Jolly Green had cooked up his Hash-famous chili with a choice of rice and bread.  About that time ShiTonya and Jock Strap appeared with smirks on their faces. In no time the soup tin was clean, but our Hare was now in acute pain.  Rather than stand around the Circle he crawled into the car.

The Circle:

Being the Great Pretender (GP) is always a bit of a challenge but Night Crawler was suddenly confronted with a new dilemma - a present but hobbled hare.  But the Circle must go on and so once again the Hash Horn was tooted (I'm being kind this time) with the Hash Benediction delivered by EM ShiTonya.  Ammo shifted roles at that point to be the GP Prompter by loudly whispering behind Night Crawler what the GP had to say. 

The Circle was an interesting affair in its own right.  We had no plastic logs or whatever to serve as a fire.  To simulate a flame some "clever" hound took Bone's flash light and aimed at a water bottle (sigh!)

The GP then declared he needed a Stand-in Hare and Bones was selected - and splashed.  By general consensus, OB1 was declared the asshole who preceded all other assholes, in other words, the Wingee.

At this point Ammo jumped into Jolly Green's driver seat and took our wincing Hare OnOn home for first aid.  LeperCon as HonSec assumed the position as GP Prompter and the activities continued.

We had a surprising number of Returning Hashers.  First up was <____> who brought in an orange t-shirt for the GM from Hong Kong.  (He was quoted from a previous Circle that "anyone can bring back a t-shirt!" and indeed he did.) He gave us some worthy Will Roger quotes for us to ponder and left the front noting that day marked his 30th year in Korea.

Then up was Jock Strap back from the Philippines.  He brought back a large (and cheap) bottle of San Miguel beer.  He was also the only Newly Paid Up Hasher.

It was then EM ShiTonya's turn as the representative Returning Hasher on behalf of Twin Cheeks (who was in the US) and Rover.  The mini-pack had scampered about Fukuoka (or "Fuck-U-OKay") to witness, to the Japanese disgust, a Mongolian take the tournament within the first day of the final three-day heat.  They visited the Kirin beer brewery and ShiTonya presented to the Hash Kirin beer chocolates.  ShiTonya then distributed some mini-call girl handouts for the pack to gander and burn.  He also provide a black bag for holding the Splash Pan and handed over an orange bag on which he performed his Polish blow job routine.

There were no Paid-Up Guests.

All other hounds had a chance to get up and ham it up but before we called things to a close, the GP declared that the Hash Shit needed to be passed on.  Actually just to whom to give it was a bit of a conundrum.  First off, LeperCon was eligible for neglecting to specifically mention the date and time on the last Run e-mail as well as to let the Hare to get off with such flaky run directions.  Second, was the Hare for giving out those run directions that left Rover wondering around in the park for 48 minutes and then leaving the pack waiting around his jeep in the cold. But ultimately, the Hash Shit was proclaimed to be given in absentia to Ammo for changing clothes in the middle of a crowded public park in daylight trusting that his diplomatic immunity would protect him.

Rover was then called up to point the direction to where he wanted to go which was a bit of challenge since Youndeungpo was actually to the north rather than "Way Down South!" 

It was then OnOn to the Silk Road where we met up with Rawhide and Worm.  The latter had recently opined that the Silk Road had become as exciting an adventure as hanging out in the men's restroom in Seoul Station.  GM Plug and Play appeared and we had an informal powwow about this matter.  As a case in point while the bar's girls ignored the entire pack, a lone foreigner came in and was given prompt attention.  To which we declared Q.E.D.

It was then OnOn to reconnoiter a possible, new Seoul Hash bar.  First and eventually last stop was Mia Fiore, located below Three Alley's Pub.  Given that the bar opens at 6:30 PM (as opposed to the Silk Road's haphazard 8:30~9:00 PM opening time) and given that from next week we are starting the runs from 3:00 PM meaning we would need to enter an OnOn bar earlier, it was the consensus of the patrolling hounds to get back to the GM noting the above, plus that the bar was filled with eye candy and that the 30% off Happy Hour goes until 9:00 PM.  Finally the young mama-san was willing to go along with our tradition of the first bottle of beer (no draft beer there) to be free.

  Our Circle "Fire" (sheesh!)

Bones giving a wolf call in anticipation of the soup tin

            Japanese BEER chocolates