SHHH

Last Week’s Notes:

It was déjà vu all over again as hounds near and far assembled in the parking lot of the Hyat-tuh Hotel on Namsan – within Hash Horn blast (up wind) from our sacred Ground Zero.  The Saturday sky was clear, the wind was blowing and we knew we were in for another exhilarating Nth Run Way Up North.  OB1 came in time to collect the money and with all hounds all accounted (and paid) for we were off on the bus.

The bus driver seemed to threaten us with last year’s long-cut performance as we fondly looked back at near-by Namsan as we drove in circles by the Han River – for about 20 or so minutes.  But Kim eventually found his bearings and we headed east and then north.  Among us were distant returning Hashers Prune Gas, Parish Priest, The Wolf, Bwana Kubwa, and Homeless (the latter both sent in his apologies for not making it and then had the brass to show up anyway!)

But even before we approached the Mighty Han, a squeaking sound started intermittently coming out above the left rear tire.  Good news was it was Bones on his recorder; bad news was it was Bones on his recorder.  His notes served as a catalyst for comments ranging from why there are strict gun controls in Korea to suggestions that our Slavic Hasher try putting his instrument up his other orifice.

 Soon beer was being passed (and spilt) up and down the bus.  Within a half hour the floor was suitably sticky to serve as a good omen for a successful run.  GM Plug and Play then grabbed his bedpan and called for a mobile Down-Down for each of the former GMs on board in terms of seniority.  The Wolf was first splashed followed by ShiTonya, Ammo, Twin Cheeks and DODIC Master in that order. ShiTonya offered us a bit of suspense as we sang his song and watched to see if he would spew out his brew in his typical fashion - on the bus.  He didn’t. 

As we continued to drink our fill, some of the senior hashers tried reverse psychology by repeatedly yelling out that they did NOT need a piss break.  Their literal wishes were fulfilled so upon arrival our bus door exploded as hashers of all ages and shapes flew out towards the shrubbery to relieve themselves.  This would have made a great photograph but the pissers were off to too many directions thus denying a single camera angle to really capture the moment.

Rover then brought out his new-fangled, high tech tripod so this time we all got our photo taken together - both front and back.

With now cold blowing winds sucking the life forces from the lesser clad, shrieks went up for the GM to call a Circle.  This he did with Ammo giving a throaty, mucus-rich blast on the Hash Horn.  OB1 was called up as Wingee from the last run and was suitably splashed.  The two mollusk-named hounds, Nightcrawler and Worm, were called to give us some hints of the trail.  The trail, they recalled, was exclusively marked in “dollops” of shredded secrets with all falsies marked with double bars.  There was also an A/D split with an A/D merge that may not still be there given that a mischievous gomma had been taking an unhealthy amount of interest in the trail’s marking.  With that, the hounds were pointed the OnOut as back and across the road by the Hares.  Not wanting to stand around any longer, the hounds were off.

The Trail:

Being a true Korean trail, the trail immediately headed up a hill and eventually into a clearing and then over a hill and down through some gravesites.    The pack was immediately stretched out but soon regrouped as the front runners were thrown substantially off true trail by a wonderful falsie.  With the last in first the pack headed back towards another hill.  It was there we came to the A/D split.  Many who thought of taking the D Trail were deterred when our own EM ShiTonya declared he was taking the A Trail.  “Well, if he is willing to do the A Trail, then I’m going to do it, too!” was the common, unspoken sentiment. 

The Circle:

The returning pack was rewarded with chili and bread – as well as by the much welcomed commemorative robes and stocking hats.  The pack then assembled down below an unused bridge where the festivities began.

 Following the blast of Ammo's Hash Horn and the benediction by EM ShiTonya, the Hares were called up to account for themselves and were splashed accordingly.  The Wingee was declared to be Blank Space since he appeared to be the first OnIn among those who at least gave appearances of actually doing the full trail.

 Returnee Hashers were many.  Starting with Shiggy who wore one of the few actual Shiggy Patches ever awarded when shiggy was true shiggy of the night soil sort.  He announced that the China NashHash will be in Shanghai this coming May.

Other returnees carrying booty or bad jokes were The Wolf in from Germany, Bawana Kubana from KL, Homeless in from Bangladesh, Parish Priest from China as well as the local returnees: Rawhide, LeperCon, Rover and DODIC.  The GM and a few others were given a nice selection of t-shirts from around the world.

 If awards were given out for preparation, drama and brass balls (or would it be bare asses?), Parish Priest would have taken all honors upon performing an extended bawdy bit of poetry – unintentionally subjecting our visiting Yongsan Hash visitors to a polysyllabic assault. (They did recover.)

 Paid-up Guests included Taxi-Ho (brought out by Seoul Train), PipeCleaner (by Rotor Washout), PMS, Cherri Ho, and Jacksplatt.  I probably left someone out.

 EM ShiTonya led the group in his theme song.  Unbeknownst to him he was accompanied quietly by Bones on his damn recorder (some hashers really are determined to live dangerously…)

 Others present included Shilelah, Fukaduk, Ammo, and Jolly Green Knob.  Again, I probably left someone out…

 After the de rigueur Way Down South anthem instigated by Parish Priest, we were OnOn to the public bath followed to a tour of the Filipino and Russian bars in Tokori.  At the Russian bars they discriminated against Koreans and more than once we closed ranks around OB1 and BaliHite and walked out the door.  Nonetheless we found enough entertainment and plenty of beer.

 On the bus home, the more mature hashers snored in bliss while the rambunctious Yongsan Hashers took over the back of the bus and sang all the way OnIn to the parking lot of the Hyatt.