Run 1616 Hash Trash

Blame it on serendipity but Hare Nightcrawler stumbled on a long neglected site of the Dead Cat Run. The site had been originally so named because someone had thoughtfully strung up a dead cat some months before on a tree at the run site. Well, that cat was gone but another feline kept the site’s name alive(?) by volunteering to submit itself under the wheel of a passing truck some weeks past. Viewing the dried and flattened remains, it looked like it had been grand sport for a while to aim for that part of the road. But I digress….

The weather was pleasant, the trees and bushes were in bloom and the rest of the foliage was sporting spring’s new growth of thorns and stickers. No doubt we were in for a memorable run.

Faceplant and LeperCon were the first to arrive at the site to find Nightcrawler looking mellow, minding some bleeding scratches on his shins. (Uh-oh…fortunately some arrived with long legged running gear.) As the clock approached 4:00, Twincheeks, Bring’em Young and ShiTonya arrived followed shortly thereafter by BaliHite and UB1.

With no more were likely to arrive, we agreed that we had the beginnings of a run and out of desperation LeperCon was volunteered as the Grand Pretender. With hanky in hand EM ShiTonya bugled the hounds into the circle. Once again last week’s Wingee was not in attendance. Remembering that Faceplant had done a commendable job – dare we say almost professional job?—as the Stand-in Wingee last week, the GP called upon our fleet-footed Kiwi to do his duty again.

Hare Nightcrawler was called up to give us directions where he demonstrated how the trail was exclusively marked in shredded secrets and assured us that the romp would be replete with countless checks taking us off into illogical directions plus a few falsies thrown in for good measure. With that, our hare pointed north and OnOut our hounds took off.

OnOut was more like OnUp as the hounds scrambled up the drainage ditch only to find shiggy in all directions. Soon the trail was discovered – yup! right through MORE shiggy! And on-on through thorns and stickers to a sudden death drop but at least on to a road – for a short distance. And (surprise, surprise) on into more shiggy.

At this point EM ShiTonya recalled an observation that in music if you goof once, it’s a mistake; if you goof twice, it’s jazz. Man, this hare was one cool daddy-o!

Up over and up to a falsie complete with a Blank Space Trap and then an about face down the hill and suddenly on to a trail. But wait there is a makeshift bridge leading to MORE Shiggy! Fortunately it was just another romp in the thorns and soon back on to a real trail leading us through a village with de rigueur yapping dogs.

Out among the blossoms and then down into the harvested rice paddies along dikes delineating the rice stubble our hounds

bounded. Back on to a real trail (was our hep cat loosing his beat?) down an asphalt lane and over a Blank

Space Trap-type gate and on to a real paved road. But then it was down across a riverbed – but not quite to other side. The trail shifted on to the stream’s sandy bank for a pace and then we were back in cross-country mode up over the steep bank on to a dirt road around to a hill and yet one more time up into the shiggy at what first appeared to be a semblance of trail until we came to a fallen log. Then when an logical hare would take the pack around the log and further on to the trail, our hare took off us to the right and down through pure

shiggy and back to the river.

It was then down over the river bank, skipping over the spillway and OnOn to the other side where we amazingly struck asphalt until we came to the highway which we crossed and then up over and down the facing hill and finally OnIn to the site with burgers and beer waiting for our hungry (scarred legged) hounds.

Running through The Categories was short work. However, we did have a returnee hasher, TwinCheeks, who had escorted a bevy of female life insurance agents to Malaysia and had the questionable pleasure of playing golf in super hot & humid weather, chasing golf ball stealing monkeys, and fleeing in terror from a surprise eyeball-to-eyeball encounter with an iguana in the rough. He brought back cans of SE Asia’s finest brew as his booty.

BaliHite took us to the Outer Limits in cross-cultural humor by telling a joke fairly well in English that must be a real knee-slapper in Korean – or so we wondered in awkward silence.

With the bar now lowered/raised at anyone’s guess, Bring’em Young was called to move the evening along. With a flourish he produced a photocopy of a large, pictorial article from a Korean art magazine featuring our New Yorker as a connoisseur of Korean pottery shards. Even in those dark dusk shadows we saw a grown man blush. So a splashing was certainly in order with TwinCheeks suggesting that it was a company obligation for him to be featured in a magazine published by one of his clients. Right.

OB1 read an actually funny comparison between men and women (What’s the difference between girl friend and a wife? 45 pounds. What’s the difference between a boy friend and a husband? 45 minutes.) For his trouble he was splashed.

The GP, albeit still unfamiliar in his role, recognized an infraction. He noticed that BaliHite had twice stepped outside of the circle to take a phone call. In spite of his protests that he was guiding his buddy OnIn to the site, BaliHite was given a punishment splash. No matter – no mercy.

BaliHite’s buddy STBN Kim, arrived unprepared to share a joke or a song but he offered a small and practical bottle opener proving once again that sucking up to whomever holds the pan is good form.

The GP called for SONG! To which Faceplant offered some “Mary Had a Little Lamb” verses for us to sing our “Poetry Song” around, but hmmm…somehow that didn’t work. The GP getting desperate turned to the one Hasher he could count on but screwed up the sequence by prematurely asking EM ShiTonya which way he felt like going. To which our EM asked LeperCon to ask the question of what is the most important thing about humor. As LeperCon attempted to repeat the question, ShiTonya yelled in his face, “TIMING! TIMING!!” And with that ShiTonya resurrected a long lost song, “I’m a Wanker.” Our EM then pointed the Way Down South. And this time we headed OnOn to the Oasis Club as part of our interim tour until the Mug Club is refurbished.

Fine Print: Opinions expressed herein are strictly intended for stupid entertainment and if you are offended, unread what you have read and you will be ok. Diatribes contained herein are not the official policy of any organization, individual, or deity other than the Grand Master of the Hash! The LeperCon is not responsible for his actions or mistakes herein!

Run	Date	Time	Hare	Description
1616	April 13, 2002	16:00	Nightcrawler	Back to Dead Cat Run

Last Week's Run: Back to Dead Cat Run