Run 1608 Hash Trash

EM ShiTonya decreed himself to be this week’s PM since GM DODIC Master still couldn’t get off his tail from under the palms of Hawaii.

Last run’s Wingee was Nightcrawler for which he was duly splashed. Nightcrawler brought with him a bottle of Black Bush – a gift to the Hash by a woeful Jolly Green Knob who had to work that day. LeperCon was called up first to explain that the trail was an A-to-A adventure complete with numerous check

and falsies, shiggy of both natural and human sorts - and a Black Bush Whiskey Stop. For this info, LeperCon was splashed. STBN Peter was then called up but he pointed out that he was on temporary abstinence of alcohol as part of his recovery from illness. For which LeperCon immediately volunteered to serve as stand-in splashee. After witnessing LeperCon choking on a larger than expected, second splashing, STPN Peter said he had little to say other than that trail was liberally marked in yellow chalk arrows. (Really??)

A funny thing (which was also entirely predictable) happened as the pack approached and then came down off Hooker Hill – half of the pack lost the trail and the other half somehow was able to stay on trail. The first group led by our two EMs came to the conclusion that they would be able to pick up the “lost” trail in the Mug Club. After a beer or two, they concluded the trail was not there. Then this group of erstwhile trackers came up with the notion that the trail must somehow cross through the 3 Alley Pub. After a few more beers there, these hounds concluded that they might be wrong once more but wait! they had run out of time. So they sauntered back to the OnIn burping beer.

Meanwhile, OB1, BaliHite, Nightcrawler, TwinCheeks and Faceplant worked themselves up, up the hill to the front of the Hyatt Hotel. As they did so, there was strong discourse about the (absence of) yellow arrows. During the climb up the hill, the pack got strung out with Nightcrawler effectively running solo. At that very moment our two hares feeling quite grand about what a well-marked trail they had set, jumped into STBN Peter’s car to race up to Ground Zero where the trail reached its summit. There they waited and waited - and waited - for someone to appear. The bottle of STBN Peter’s Black Bush Whiskey was uncorked and paper shot cups were unwrapped. Eventually the core pack of OB1, BaliHite, TwinCheeks and Faceplant appeared but from the opposite direction than the hares had intended. (Oops!)

After the core pack moved on-on, the hares waited a bit more and concluded that no one would be coming – which turned out to be not true since Nightcrawler was somehow able to maintain on trail, come on to Ground Zero from the right direction but he failed to see the small cups of whiskey on a rock for late arrivals. By

then the hares had jumped back into the car and had immediately come across the core pack a very short distance from Ground Zero, posing (see photo to the left) for Faceplant’s camera around an important discovery – a yellow arrow. (“Not a good sign,” thought LeperCon). As you can see in the picture to the above right, the core pack then expressed their full satisfaction to LeperCon.

Eventually all runners (as opposed to drinkers in the 3 Alley Pub) made it down the hill coming out behind the Itaewon post office, next to Pizza Hut. While directions were clear in directing the hounds to cross the street, OB1 could not find the mysterious yellow arrows on the other side, gave up, and ran straight back to the OnIn site. Nightcrawler found the arrows that OB1 couldn’t find and followed most of the trail back but got lost at the last falsie. He then headed back on his own reckoning to the OnIn site. The remaining core pack was able to follow the trail around the streets and cramped alleys neighborhood south of Itaewon street and up to the back of the mosque. There they came to the last check and agreed to hell with it and made their way back to the OnIn site along a route very close to the true trail.

The now ravenous pack was rewarded with genuine Irish stew prepared by STBN Peter’s wife who prudently kept their small daughter and herself on the second floor of the residence. STBN Peter circulated among the arriving hounds liberally pouring out more of his Black Bush Whiskey.

Since this was his first trail, no one held STBN Peter accountable for the trail. Not so for our Irish gnome! Even before the circle began, LeperCon pathetically started making up various forms of mea culpa knowing that no alibi would stand.

EM/PM ShiTonya called the Circle into formation. Rover not only appeared this time but even remembered to bring the Hash Horn. Furthermore, Rover blew the horn with a here-to-date unknown bravado making several to suspect that the bastard had been practicing!

LeperCon and STBN Peter were invited to the front to defend the run. Most remarkably the pack made several comments about the lack of chalked arrows. The two hares were momentarily speechless until LeperCon pointed out the price of chalk was skyrocketing these days. For this LeperCon was splashed followed by his tale of three Irish lads recounting a shared night on the town.

Little noticed by others, LeperCon had been celebrating his 51^st birthday that day by smoking strong Cuban cigars and nipping hard at the Black Bush. Forgetting that he was the stand-in Hon Sec, our Web Sec was found still standing but with not even a half of a mind. The results of his predicament are documented in the following account of the remainder of the Circle activities:

“And there I saw my friend STBN Peter telling a story about an Irishman who was stumped on questions regarding Northern Ireland terrorism – yes! – and there he told some more about an English televised quiz show (I think that is what he said…) and then Peter concluded his tale about this Irish lad being congratulated by a fellow countryman in the audience for playing dumb. But then it grew dark – darker than it should’ve been - and I heard a voice call out for me to proclaim the name the asshole who preceded all other assholes. I wasn’t sure but I thought it must be Faceplant and so I blurted ‘tis Faceplant that be our Wingee!’ And Faceplant was splashed. But I was distracted by the commotion of someone else bursting on to the scene. I thought we were all in but I was wrong – it was Nightcrawler who pleased me by his statement of the run being a Great Run – but no one else paid him any mind.

“I’m sure our paid-up guests were brought up and splashed, but I paid not them – or anyone else - any mind since by then I had no mind. Alas! to have even half a mind! But what matters such ponderings when the air turns thick as it muffles the sound of laughter and lewd jokes? And Faceplant was back again in front of the group. Why? I had no idea but I took a picture of him anyway. Echoes of a far-flung Kiwi trek ricocheted off of Peter’s house – something about Australia, New Zealand and Great Britain… He presented our EM with a white garment. Someone remarked it came from whales – which made no sense. No, no, no! another remarked, it was from Wales. Either way it still made no sense since I had never seen a sheep or a whale in a T-shirt! But the next day I found in my coat pocket a flyer about the upcoming InterHash in Cardiff in 2004. He may have brought back a Cardiff InterHash T-shirt - but by then it was hardly my concern as the very sod beneath this sot made me swoon for balance…

“As I stumbled back down the steps with mind (and stomach) cleared, the Circle was still in high mirth. “The Way Down South” song was sung and I even participated with a newfound (and refreshed) enthusiasm - but who could’ve been asked to point which way to go? I had no idea until I regained half a mind the next morning to down load my camera. Thanks to photographic evidence it is clear that Rawhide was last man up and like the rest I clearly remembered we were OnOn to the Mug Club.

“I later followed a small group of hashers on to the 3 Alley Pub to watch Ireland be steamrolled by Britain in a rugby match. As I nodded in and out of consciousness in front of the wide screen, I felt that same steamroller caress my lobes, its rollers promising me that when I awoke tomorrow I would realize that a mind would be a terrible thing to waste - but half a mind would be just perfect for the next run…”

Fine Print: Opinions expressed herein are strictly intended for stupid entertainment and if you are offended, unread what you have read and you will be ok. Diatribes contained herein are not the official policy of any organization, individual, or deity other than the Grand Master of the Hash! The LeperCon is not responsible for his actions or mistakes herein!

Run	Date	Time	Hare	Description
1608	February 16, 2002	16:00	STBN Peter & LeperCon	Black Bush

Last Week's Run: Black Bush Run